Stepping Out…

In order to once again step from the comfort of the known to the adventure that the unknown holds, I must leave precious matters so near and dear to my heart in the hands of the Almighty God who loves me and is in control of all. He knows what He is doing and He is so faithful. Everything that happens is in His time, not mine. In return for His goodness, I must learn to trust His hand as I go, as I embark on this journey of teaching for the second of what will be many years to come. He will lead, He will prepare, as He allures me by His presence to where He wants me to be, where He will use me the most in the next year. Of course, this is much easier said than done, but it must be done. The risk of not doing what He has for me to do is a risk I am not willing to take, so I will. As I do this, I am letting go, knowing that He knows best and His ways are higher. No distance is too far in matters of the heart as long as I obey Him. I long to write about the one my heart loves because nothing is too hard, neither is anything impossible for my God. He knows the desires of my heart and I must delight in Him. I must faithfully serve Him doing what He has equipped me to do. I am first and foremost His. He has given me a group of children to love and teach and I will pour my heart into them and those with whom I will be cooperating. LORD, help me to trust you. It is so hard to leave things so unknown, but I do so by faith, knowing you will work everything out according to your plan. I stand at the cusp of something great. I long to see what you will do.

Changes…

Changes occur when we least expect it. Sometimes they are rapid and make a little difference, but sometimes they come on gradually making a world of difference. Often I wish things could just stay as they were, but then I think of the difference I am making, the legacy I leave with each group of children I will teach in my life time. I think of those who I have known and have seen grow up. I am so blessed to have been a part of so many lives already, and I have only just begun. God has created me for a purpose. He has given me a gift, and I want to use that gift to the fullest wherever I am. Although I am scared to leave again, I know He will give me the courage and the strength to reach out. All I must do is believe in His ability to work through me and lead those with whom I am entrusted as they progress and succeed. There are times when the road is rough and cruel, but if I do not do anything about it, I will surely fail, and so will my students. I must keep my head up and my eyes on you as I push through every day with the same enthusiasm and love for life as I exhibit to those around me no matter where they are. As I anticipate another school year, my heart is filled with the deep set emotions. I have to leave again, and what I am leaving behind me is so precious, so near and dear to my heart. I know I must press on, and do what He has called me to do. He has a plan and perfect time for everything in my life. If I do not keep my eyes on Him, I will fail, I will fall apart, come crawling back to hide in my shell, and wonder my whole life what I would have done if I had looked up.

Breaking Points…

With all that has happened this week with the kids I teach, I have come to the conclusion that all of them must come to their breaking point.  This is the point where they realize that the choices that they are making are going to get them no where.  This is the point where they are through struggling and they are ready to make things happen, to succeed because they finally realize they are worth so much more.  It is not the kids who already know this, but the ones who constantly get into more trouble than they should at their young age, trouble that will only lead them to ground zero if they keep on that path.

Sometimes I think I could be the result of this, how could I have connected with them better?  But, then, it is their choices that determine their destiny.   Maybe it is both because many of these kids do not have the loving support at home, their basic needs met, they come to school and expect this from me, their teacher.  If I am not giving it, then they will look else where for it.  I think I am connecting with them, but I am not sure.  I am not sure how to reach these kids.  I know they will be reached, but they just may have to come to their breaking point on their own.  I hope and pray that they do soon before greater consequences arise.

Although I may not be the one to see them thrive in life, they will.  I will have played a small role in that because God will reach them through me.  The key is, I may never know the impact I am making, I just have to keep going one day at a time and letting Him lead me.  I cannot give up when things are difficult, for if I do I will miss what could be the greatest victory in my entire life.

Breaking points are what some kids must come to in order for things to change in their lives for the better.  I just hope and pray they make those choices before they get in too deep.  LORD, show me how to reach them one day at a time.  I Love You, Amen. 

Types of Kids:

Resilient kids realize their full potential.  They have dreams and aspirations and go for them with full force.  They believe in themselves, and others believe in them.  I guess you can say these are the easy kids to teach.
However, some kids genuinely want to do the right thing, but do not know how.  These are my more difficult kids, my whole class.  They will often wind up in trouble all the time until they learn.  They need someone in their lives to encourage and believe in them; to speak the truth in love to their very being.  They need someone to show them the way. This is the majority of kids in today’s public schools.  This is why I am motivated as I strive to be the best teacher I can be.  I want to reach the kids I teach where they are at and help take them to where they aspire to be.  Sometimes I wonder how the heck I am doing this, but every day I do the best that I can and learn so that somehow and in some way I will reach them.  This is the frustrating, yet honest part of teaching but in reality, it is why I became a teacher.

When these kids realize their dreams, there is no stopping them.  They will accomplish more than they could ever have possibly imagined.  I have both types of kids in my sixth grade class this year, both have so much potential, and I need to pray for them daily because they need it so much.  They are also found in all elementary, junior high schools, and high schools from San Diego to Kerman and beyond.  They can do anything they want to do when someone believes in them.  They will live their dreams one day.

I pray I can do my part as a teacher.  What else can I do, LORD, when they do not listen to me?  What do I do when I plan and contrive and pray without seeing the results, when all I see is chaos?  I won’t give up, but LORD, what else can I do?  I will do anything, I will stop at no cost because these kids are worth it.  How do they not see that I care?  How do they not feel it?  How can I make them see and feel the love I truly have for them and yet not let them get away with mischief at the same time?  What can I do, LORD?  Help me to keep going, keep running the race and not give up.  I need you, you will make it happen.  You do all things through me.  You will be with me.  You strengthen and help me, you uphold me with your righteous right hand.  Help me reach them where they are at.  Thank you for this opportunity LORD.  Thank you for your favor and for giving me everyday to make an impact.  Help me not to just be looking forward to the next break like everyone generally does.  Give me more focus, I need it.  I need to persevere.  Help me to reach them, reach them through me, LORD; with you I will be victorious.  You are my all in all.  I love you.  Amen.

My Life is Kids…

One of the things I love about the church I go to is the kids.  Every week they call the kids to come forward for a mini-message.  It reminds me how simple the truths in God’s Word are that a child can grasp them, yet how much deeper they can go when you daily walk with God throughout your life.

In addition, my life is Kids.  It is filled with kids, kids, and more kids, and guess what, I love it.

The kids are my favorite part about teaching, which I love, because it involves kids.

Why do I love them so much??? I just do!!!

1. They are so real.

2. They are so simple.

3.  They ask questions because they are so curious.

4.  They keep on learning.

5.  They have so much potential.

6.  They give great hugs.

7.  They are easy to love because they have a lot of character.

8.  They make me laugh with their unique personalities.

9.  They are always different everyday.

10. They have a child-like faith that I do not want to loose.

I could go on and on.  I love kids.  I love teaching.  I love waking up every morning knowing that I get to go make a difference in the lives of so many young children who are so eager to learn, but most importantly are so eager to be loved.  I cannot wait for what God has in store for me each year of my career.  It is in His hands as I go forward and pursue what I love to do and pray for His favor; and that I have if I keep my eyes fixed on Him.

“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).” 

 

From the Past to the Present

High School is where you begin to discover who you are, what your unique purpose is.  In college you supposedly figure it out.  When you graduate college, you should know for certain but so often that is not the case, but by the end of grad school on into your late 20s-early 30s you should know without a doubt what path you are on.

Thinking back…this is how it has been for me.  I didn’t know myself when I was in high school, I got to know myself a little bit in college, then, finally, I have it figured out, but not really, cause there are still so many unknowns, but God knows the future.  I can entrust it to Him.  I only know that I can rest in the path He has me on.  I know because of the peace that is instilled in my heart at this very moment, it is a peace I can bank my life on!!!

I do not remember much drama when I was a teenager, as so many kids today have, more than they should.  I was still a kid in so many ways.  Even now, I think I still am, although, I have learned much.  I used to read books about teenagers and wonder what it was like to live their lives.  It is hard to identify fully with people for my lack of experience, but is it a lack of experience when you choose not to do certain things or live your life in a certain way.  I do not consider myself naive only because of all I have seen second-handedly, there is so much that makes me not regret the path that I have chosen and I have much to offer.  To whom much is given, much is required, right???

Even still, somehow, I know, I can feel what they are feeling.  They are searching like I once was, searching to find meaning in life, someone to love them, somewhere to belong.  I want them so badly to find God, and find the life they were meant to live.  I love them so much, but all I can do is pray and be there for them (but this is a lot), I am so glad that my prayers can go where I cannot be.

For this brief season in my life, I have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of teenagers, and I embrace it with open arms.  I love each and every one of my kids.  I pray that they will somehow, someway come to know the hope that I have.

Though I may not ever see the results of the impact I am making, I am so glad that it is there and that God is at work.  This, my friend, is all I need to know.  It is all worth it.  I love these kids.  They rock and God is Good!!!

Teaching Rocks!!!

One thing I love about my job, is the joy that comes when you make a connection with a student who you have been struggling with for what seems like forever.

Today was one of those memorable days.  I have this kid who  knows English, but barely understands it.  Every time I ask him questions about himself, he rarely gives more than a “nothin much.”  Today we actually had a conversation in English when I asked him how he was doing, only for him it was broken, but a good step in the right direction.  The rest of our lesson was filled with such connections as he was able to comprehend the gist of what we read.

Yes, Teaching Rocks!!!  I love these moments and there are so many, I wish I could recount them all, but that would take pages.  I look forward to everyday that I get to walk onto a school campus and educate in order to impact the next generation.  Lovin it Lovin it…

…and I have only just begun!!!

A Change in Perspective

I thank you for believing in me, you’ve given me more than I could ever ask for and you believe in my abilities to make things happen.   You have the highest opinion of me that cannot be compared to any other.  For this reason, it is important that my life not be compartmentalized since you want to be involved in every part.

I thank you for what you have blessed me with.  I will never cease to learn or pursue all you have for me.  You love me and pick me up the many times I fall on my face.  You change my heart and make it more loving and peaceful toward those I encounter daily.

I thank you for believing in my potential to learn, to stand up against all odds.  You have given me so much that I cannot compromise who you are for any part of my life, because every part of my life must include you.

I thank you for wisdom, I thank you for love, I thank you for your constant presence in my life.  You will never leave me nor forsake me.

I thank you for changes in my heart and attitude that change my perspective on things.  I thank you for teaching and guiding me.

Lord, my heart, my perspective on school is not very high, I am frustrated with what I have to learn and read in my class.  The whole course looks at one way, one perspective.  I am supposed to attend a conference this weekend, and it is one in which I do not want to go to.  I would rather sleep, I would rather not go, anything but go.  But, I do not see the whole picture, I do not know when the next one is, and if I would be able to go to that one; if in fact I am supposed to attend, I would rather get it over with now.  Lord, help me to see things from this perspective and just let it go.  You are faithful and once again, you will never give me too much that I cannot endure.  I Love you, I cling to you, only you can get me through, Amen.  I seek your contentment with school, not in order to conform, but in order to persevere and prove faithful as you are.   

Vulnerability

True, learning to love as God does makes me vulnerable; but I would rather strive to live in love and peace with others than walk aroung with a chip on my shoulder in negativity against them.

There are so many connections I long to make with my coworkers, but I will not compromise my walk with God to do it.  So, I will pray for brokenness among them.

You’ve held onto my soul and I am never letting go of you my Lord.  You’ve changed me and I am held in your arms forever I felt them as I was driving today and I feel them now as I am on the brink of going to sleep.  I thank you that you never stop loving me, and that you teach me every day to love others as you strengthen the vulnerability of my fragile heart.

I am never letting go of you, no compromise.  You make me come alive as you strengthen me.  I am learning and I have overcome, but I only know in part, what you know in full.  Help me to see things as you do.  Teach me to love like you do.  I am back in your arms again and I never want to leave.

“No matter how hard it is, no matter how difficult it may seem, don’t give up, don’t give in, just keep going, and wait for the blessing because He is Faithful.”  Overcoming is looking beyond the surface of things and praying in His Spirit, and loving as He so loved me.  He will never give me more than I can handle.

It Breaks My Heart

Walking around my workplace day in and day out, I sense brokenness, I sense smiles that are fake that signify unhappiness. I mean, how many of those people are really truly happy, content with their lives. They all come from different living situations, they are appear to fake whatever happiness they have. I have heard it a thousand times, not by choice but by default. I have heard things that I would rather not have heard. It is hard not too, when I am walking by and hear negativity, complaints, or gossip about another coworker or two or three. It seems it is everywhere. It breaks my heart to know how well people hide behind their smile or casual, “I’m good,” to the all famous question. It is weird but for some reason I can tell when people are truly good and when they are just politely answering my question and it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to know what is really going on inside, what resides in their heart in a place that they will not let anyone in.

LORD Jesus,

I pray for my coworkers. I love them from the bottom of my heart. They are all unique and special in their own ways. I pray for peace in our work environment, I know only you can make this work among adults, some with hecka strong personalities, who are forced to work together for a common purpose. I pray for the strength to stand firm and be a light to them. I pray that I will be an example of someone who stands out and not only physically. Lord, I know I am not perfect, none of us are, but I pray for their happiness, that it will be more genuine with each passing day, some of them have it, but others, are far from being truly happy. I want them to experience and find the joy that I have in you. My heart breaks for them because they do not have this long standing joy. I pray for their salvation. Teach me how to pray for them and use me in their lives. I Love them from my heart. In Jesus Christ’s Holy Name I Pray, Amen!!!