1st things 1st

You are in Control

1st things 1st

but God I wish I knew

1st things 1st

through all this uncertainty

Why is my heart so attached to him at all?

1st things 1st

Why did I let myself in?

1st things 1st

I wish the answers were here

oh then, dear LORD, things would be so clear

1st things 1st

Why can’t I stop them?

These feelings,oh these feelings I feel

Why do I long for his call?

1st things 1st

Is there something there?

1st things 1st

Why do I let myself care?

1st things 1st

Do I really feel something?

or is my heart being surreal?

1st things 1st

I don’t know what I have to do?

1st things 1st

Why would I ever fall?

but, LORD, I so feel like I want to

1st things 1st

I will keep looking to you through it all

Of course this has been my prayer

for that special guy

yes, this is my prayer also for

the man of my dreams

that he as well as I

would keep

1st things 1st

through it all!!!

God, I pray for a man with a gentle heart, who will be tender towards me and cherish me all the days of my life – who will respect and honor me as you do – I pray that you will create a bright and peaceful spirit in me that will awaken adventure, desire and a desire for intimacy in his heart. Allow us to be a part of your Kingdom – may we give you all we have, make us clear minded and steadfast, especially in our love for you. scrawled underneath, i wrote, a self sacrificing man. But in the space of singleness, I do not know if or when the door to a new relationship will open – but I’m becoming ok with this – as I ask God to continue to color my world and re-awaken a vision and thankfulness in me for what I already have.  Thank you for being my lover first and forever during this time in my life.  I love you, LORD Jesus, Amen!!!

 “What emerged from our talk was nothing less, we believed, than the central ’secret’ of enduring love:sharing…Total sharing, we felt, was the ultimate secret of a love that would last forever…The killer of love is creeping seperateness…Ceasing to do things together. Finding seperate interests. “We” turning into “I.” Self. Self-regard: what I want to do. Actual selfishness only a hop away. This was the way of creeping seperateness…We would be us-centered, not self-centered…We saw self as the ultimate danger to love, which it is; we didn’t see it as the ultimate evil of hell, which it also is. We saw only the danger to our love. Still, we turned away from it, turned away because we loved our love. And we were determined that it should endure.” (A Severe Mercy pg 27,29,30)

Relationships are a selfless giving of oneself to another slowly, gradually over time.  They cannot be rushed.  They must be entered into with the utmost care.  Each must be committed to begin to love another as Christ so loved us.  Both must grow in the grace and knowledge of God, and extend that to the other.  Each person must do their part to maintain that connection that will indeed grow overtime if it is the right one!!!

The right one takes time

but it just makes sense

They are all about the little things

the simple things like long phone calls, or

those things that are hard to define

but are there

They are about that connection

no matter where each one is

the connection grows deeper

through each encounter

with that person

They are consistent over time

but there is always room for

that spontaneity

or element of surprise

that keeps you guessing

every step of the way

These special relationships require

faith and patience

and must always keep first things first

because HE must be the center

and leader of both!!!